On Grief and Loss

Seven years ago this month, I lost my significant other. I think this is the first 4th of July that hasn’t felt heavy since Ryan’s death. Grief is a lifelong journey. A continuous reckoning with the inconceivable. The constant reminder of the loss of the future with your loved one - whether spouse, parent, child or friend.

Grief is one of my specialty areas at Where Practical Meets Magical. But my relationship with death and grief began way before my own personal tragedy. When I was still working as a reporter in Omaha, I was assigned a series of stories on hospice care in the state of Nebraska. Through that experience, I heard the calling of hospice work. I always thought I’d eventually volunteer, but it wasn’t until my counseling internship that I answered the call. I ended up working in hospice - offering dance/movement therapy to patients as well as bereavement support to their families - for six years. That hands-on experience, along with formal grief training and my own personal experiences with loss (I lost my dad five years ago as well), has informed my approach to grief counseling.

Grief quite often can create a dark night of the soul - causing one to feel as if they are dying themselves. The metaphorical hole that is left can be suffocating. But over time you learn to grow around the hole. You find coping tools. Safe people who just get it. And you slowly, day by day - sometimes moment by moment - build your new normal.

One way I coped was by getting two memorial tattoos. I found it incredibly healing, and I still want to offer a memorial tattoo grief group at some point. If you’ve experienced a significant loss, what is something that helped you cope?